A Clean Mind

Blogging about a less stressful way to live…

You Don’t Have To Like It To Love It

We talk a lot here about loving what arises, which has become the cornerstone of my work and of my life. And it’s becoming the cornerstone of the lives of many of you and others across the world as well. I learned all this from Matt Kahn, for whom I am very grateful. A super cool dude. And I’m going to see him again in a month, woohoo! The massive man crush persists…

Today I’d like to emphasize a really important point, and it’s that we don’t have to like something to love it. When things arise in you that you don’t like, such as fear or shame or jealousy, you’re really just being an open space for it. “Oh, you’re here. Okay, you can be here (since you’re already here).”

To me it’s like I sort of open my heart and chest area and allow that feeling to be there, no big deal. Just be an open space for it and go on about your day. “Open space,” I like that. When you keep doing this, it’s like you’re letting those energies come up into the light where they can eventually dissolve, leaving you feeling more and more spacious. And the good stuff can fill you up more and more, which it will, automatically. It’s pretty cool. Of course it might feel like a burn for a little while (or a long while, depending on how major it is), so you just let it burn. Notice that we’re not engaging this stuff with our thinking mind too much, because that generally just makes things worse.

Something else I wanted to share is a great analogy for loving without necessarily liking. Think of a young child that’s having a meltdown. Like, a really bad meltdown. At the worst time. In the worst place. The grocery store, the library, church, the office, a relative’s house, you get the idea. As you leave your basket full of groceries that haven’t been paid for yet and rush to the car to go home – because it’s that bad – you might not really like the child a whole lot. But you don’t love her/him any less. And when the tantrum passes, as they always do, and you like the child’s behavior again, you don’t love her/him any more. Does that make sense?

A final thing that helps, and we’ve definitely mentioned this before, is to connect the feeling to a younger innocent version of you. The inner child. A little kid or a baby. I don’t love fear, but a scared little boy gets a damn hug! I don’t love jealousy, but an insecure little dude gets a damn hug! So that’s been helpful, too.

Anyway, just a few thoughts to help us deepen on this journey of loving what arises. We’re wielding the strongest stuff in the universe, love, on a moment to moment basis to heal all the holes in our heart. One at a time. And sure enough, they get healed. And the intelligent universe puts us in the perfect situations at the perfect times to give us the opportunities that we need. And after a while, we start to embrace it. So cool. And yay, a short blog post again!! I could get used to this… Peace out 🙂


All anybody really wants is peace. The good news is that peace can be learned. I’m serious. This should be taught in middle school, but it’s not. So I’m teaching it now.

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