A Clean Mind

Blogging about a less stressful way to live…

Notes: Matt Kahn Retreat, Day 2

Hello friend. These are my notes from Matt Kahn’s 5-day Standing For Love retreat. It was at the World Forestry Center in lovely Portland, OR on April 25-29, 2018. You can read my general, mind-blown impressions here. Because it was freaking insane!!! Okay, I had to get that out of my system… But seriously, it was craaaazy!!! I guess there was a bit more…

His retreats (and everything he does) always unfold intuitively, based on what the universe deems necessary for that situation at that time. It’s so cool to watch because it just happens, it just comes through. He said that this retreat ended up having a theme for each day. Day two was Thursday, and the theme was Emotion. Which is so huge and foundational for us humans to master… And we’re totally doing it! I know that myself, my readers, and my clients certainly are, anyway. It’s a process, and we’re on it. So cool, and as my path unfolds, it’s my greatest honor and joy to share. Here we go…

Thursday 4/26/18 am (Emotion Day)

Manifesting is coming into alignment with what was always meant to be.

The four factors of how conscious or unconscious you are (that he “downloaded” from the universe at breakfast this morning) – and we use this to shine a light on our growth edges and opportunities, NOT as a weapon against ourself in any way (which is so common on the spiritual path).

1. How quickly or easily to you become agitated? 

You can be very awake but still have lots of emotional density, emotional debris.

2. How genuinely do you receive compliments?

A compliment is trying to destroy your hiding spot to get out of hiding. It’s a spiritual missile that destroys the heart’s walls.

But you’re never ready for the words that matter most to your heart. You have to learn to be seen and to take it, by saying those words yourself. 

Let love destroy your barriers to life. A compliment is an assassination attempt to the inferior ego structure. 

Sometimes we don’t know how to take eye contact, too, which is also an assassination attempt. But they’re both gifts to the soul. 

Fear of intimacy is when an ego is coming to the end of its grip. We all go through it. It’s the ego’s last stand, losing its grip on object consciousness (thinking you and everyone else are separate objects rather than the same Source energy appearing in different costumes) and emerging into unity consciousness. 

3. How openly and generously do you give to those you love? 

When merged with the light of consciousness, we’re replenished by the vibration of giving. 

The activity of presence is interest. How interested are you in being part of another person’s passion? Passion is very interesting, no matter whose it is! Presence is being equally interested in your loved ones’ interests as your own. 

4. How deeply do you respect the space of someone else’s process (and your own)? 

Can you give space without feeling abandoned, rejected, or not good enough? 

Giving space is the balance of number 3, giving openly. Can you shift gears when that’s called for? 

When one partner is triggered, it means they’re not getting or taking the space they need. 

And then after those four factors, he continued…

Self-Love is the bridge that takes unconsciousness to consciousness. It melts unconsciousness and strengthens consciousness. 

Agitation is a sign of inner conflict in which one wants to be valued and validated by others but hasn’t learned to value and validate themselves

To see yourself is to see your inner beauty, i.e. your worth or the soul’s radiance. Have you ever taken the time to acknowledge your own beauty? 

I’m here! I’m so proud to be me. I’ve arrived. I’m there. As opposed to “when I’ve arrived, or when I get there, or when I make it, then blank…” This is it! 

There’s beauty in everything. Even pain: “I’ve earned this pain, and the right to be present with how fast I’m evolving.” Because it’s only emotional debris and physical inflammation that’s being cleared out so that more light can be embodied. 

The beauty in fear is the innocence that only wants to be told it’s going to be okay. 

The real spiritual journey is about finding our imperfections and embracing them with the perfection of unconditional love. What needs your love? In other words, where are you your greatest enemy? Where are you an enemy and not an ally to yourself? 

The final war of ego: the ego has a tantrum and gets nasty and mean when we don’t give into what it wants. And we respond by just loving it more and more, saying, “Go for it (i.e. say whatever mean things you need to say). I love you.” The shadow is like a child that didn’t get unconditional love so it replaced love with alcohol, food, etc. Now we’re giving it love instead. And when it gets hard and harsh, we get more soft. 

The only enemy to be found is our past choices. So let’s make peace with them, because that’s how we grew in consciousness to become what we are now. The shadow comes from the regret over those choices or the victimhood of others’ bad choices. 

If you feel bad about yourself, you’ll do things to confirm it. So flip it. Start to feel good about yourself to give permission to make powerful choices that are aligned with soul. It’s all just the way that energy moves. You have to feel better about yourself to choose better. 

AMAZING! I locked eyes with Matt for like a minute, and it felt like the strongest ray gun blast of amazing energy vibrating through my body. Wow! I was seeing white light around the periphery, too. 

When you face darkness, only more light is given. Glory be to those that feel. 

Darkness is afraid of being destroyed by light, so it has the vibration of fear. So if we fear darkness then we have the same vibration. When we face it, we reclaim another part of ourselves and we shine even brighter. Darkness is afraid of our light. So it doesn’t hunt us but just pushes up against anything that might destroy it. 

How much time do we spend being tender with ourselves? Like just sitting with yourself. 

Thursday 4/26/18 afternoon (Emotion Day)

To be grounded is to have interest in the moment at hand. Be still and be interested in what’s in front of you. 

He wanted a new teaching on forgiveness that’s empowering, not disempowering. So he asked the universe and this is what he got… 

First, have the right not to forgive. Take as much time as you need. And you have the right to be angry or sad, or even to hate. 

The three rules of Heaven are come as you are, be as you wish, and feel it now (it = IT = infinite truth). 

Back to forgiveness, let’s lay the foundation. First of all, know that people hurt others only to avoid their own pain (“hurt people hurt people” – and what he adds to that is, “free people free people”). It’s nobody’s fault because it’s unconscious. They haven’t learned to feel pain yet. 

We were chosen by the Divine to be hurt because we’re evolved enough to use the abuse for our growth (which is what this radical forgiveness process is about). And it heals the collective of abuse. 

They’re imprinting their pain onto our consciousness to avoid it. And our judgment (lack of forgiveness) allows their pain to squat in our consciousness, rent-free. And this kind of radical forgiveness says no more! You’re not going to use my energy field to hide your unconscious pain. 

“I forgive you” doesn’t condone it; it takes our power back. It gives back to others what’s not ours. We can’t be meek but strong. It comes from the warrior. 

Saying “I forgive you” (doesn’t have to be in person) says, “That doesn’t belong here – not here!” And after a while of practicing this, you don’t attract predatorial behavior. 

Walk into any place and silently say, “Who’s ready to be forgiven?” It’s going on the offensive and your light just blasts stuff. Forgiveness will keep you safe, literally. It’s a bomb of well-being, a love bomb. It’s great to exchange light with another but not to hold their pain. 

Forgive first (preemptively) and their behavior is not needed. Forgive first and nobody gets hurt. Forgiveness is about spreading and passing on blessings. 

The Process: Your personal problem is another person’s pain, so take your biggest problem. How does it make you feel? And who’s the first person that made you feel that way (or the one that made you feel that way the most)? Say, “I send this back to you as blessings of light for your journey ahead.” Send it back mercifully, powerfully, and decisively. 

So “let it go” really means “send it back.” And our team of angels and guides makes it happen. Bam! And we’re sending it back mercifully, knowing that it’s all part of evolution. 

To know God deeply is to live as God lives, and that’s to the rhythm of forgiveness. The giving back is the meaning of forgiveness. 

NOTE: This “send it back” forgiveness process is new, and I look forward to hearing the audio when it comes out in July so I can really master it. But know that everybody needs to deal with their own stuff, their own pain. If we’re holding their stuff then that’s holding up their journey of evolution. That’s why “send it back” is a part of evolution.

QnA led to his process for writing books. He has a title and subject he loves, since he’ll be teaching it for a while in support of he book (so you really have to love it). Then he channels an outline in like ten minutes. Then he writes and then edits, looking for repeated material. And of course he can add and subtract anytime. 

QnA – A woman said when she’s in a dark place, she can’t see any light at all. He said you can’t see light in darkness because you’re the only light that’s there. You’re the light that illuminates the darkness. The process is that you go to the dark to retrieve a part of yourself and bring it back to the light like a slingshot at higher and higher frequencies. Say to darkness, “Hello, friend, how may I serve you?” And we serve darkness (not its needs) to get it back to the light. 

Don’t love things as objects (they’re expressions of Source, not objects). 

Thursday 4/26/18 pm (Emotion Day)

Self-love is all about how interested we are in ourselves. 

Time is the ultimate enemy of the ego and the ultimate ally of the soul. How much time each day am I interested in me? Not my growth or my spiritual path, but me. 

Breathing through pain doesn’t make it better. It changes your relationship with pain, though, which does make it better over time. 

Then we did sitting for a long time. Just sit. It could be called sitting meditation, or zazen, but it was very informal and without rules. It’s more about what you’re not doing rather than what you’re doing. And you’re not doing anything except sitting. This is how to be with yourself. And how to be with your feelings; you just sit with them. Really cool! 


All anybody really wants is peace. The good news is that peace can be learned. I’m serious. This should be taught in middle school, but it’s not. So I’m teaching it now.

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