A Clean Mind

Blogging about a less stressful way to live…

I’m Going To See Matt Kahn Again!

Hello, great folks. As you may have noticed, about three months ago I had quite a profound time at my first Matt Kahn retreat. So… I’m going back! It’ll be next week in Portland, Oregon. I lived there briefly with my younger brother about ten years ago, so it’ll be nice to return. I also have some old friends from Pensacola there that I’ll be able to connect with. There won’t be a whole lot of free time, though, because the hours are pretty long. But that’s okay, because after all, that’s why we’re there. This one will actually be about twice as long as the first one, so it should be pretty crazy. I’m very psyched!

I think we’ve had a pretty strong run of posts since I got back from the last one, so who knows what will go down next. I have several partially written posts that I’d love to finish before I go, but no pressure. I just love where we are, though. I think we’re really ready to deepen and deepen into this new paradigm of loving what arises and understanding that the universe is always serving our highest growth. Even when it’s painful… And as I always say, I have absolutely no idea why the super bad stuff happens to people that don’t deserve it. But I do know that we can heal and thrive, so we focus on that and move on (because we don’t really have a choice).

Something else that I’d like to share here is another way to differentiate the old way from the new way. This is something that I learned recently from Matt, and it makes a lot of sense, makes it really clear. If you really think about it, the old way of growth has traditionally been very masculine. There’s lots of work and effort, spiritual work, personal growth work, however you want to phrase it. And at some point, this usually takes lots of personal will to get it right and do it right and try harder if you don’t. And of course this inevitably leads to lots of judgment, mainly against ourselves. There’s also usually an enemy to defeat, which is also a very masculine idea. It could be the ego, the mind, the lower chakras, feelings, resistance, habits, patterns, etc. I’m not saying that this masculine way is wrong or bad; rather, for so many of us it’s just no longer the time for it. So it’s ineffective; it’s no longer working. It had its time and place, and that time has past. It’s still the right path for many people, but not for anyone that would be reading my stuff! For us, it’s time for the feminine to rise up and take its rightful place. And if you’re curious or confused, just ask yourself if those masculine ways are still working. If you’ve ever thought you weren’t working hard enough, then I have good news for you – you weren’t supposed to be! You were in the wrong classroom, innocently blaming yourself. And this is the right classroom for you. It’s a totally different ballgame. I mean, are you truly at peace? If so, then great! But I know for a fact that most people are not, and they’re trying soooo hard. Then they wonder why their spiritual tricks aren’t working anymore, and they get into the judgment and blame game. I’ve been the king of that, and it’s not very fun…

So what’s this more feminine way all about? Loving what arises. Whatever arises, love that. And we aren’t in control of what arises; the universe is. It could be anger, jealousy, sadness, fear, stress, insecurity, etc. As we notice a feeling (or thought), we trace it to the one inside that feels (or thinks) that way. And who is that? You guessed it, it’s the inner child. That little dude (or dudette) is using those annoying or painful feelings or thoughts to get your attention, saying, “Hey, I need you now.” So we give it an inner embrace, an inner hug, an inner “I got you, I love you, I’m here for you.” Right there on the spot. And then we go on about our day, as is appropriate. We’re being an open and loving space for whatever arises, and that‘s how we heal.

And again, the intelligent universe is in charge. That’s more feminine, too, because now you don’t have this intense inner boss trying to run the show (of the peace and healing that it can literally never comprehend!). The universe knows the order of the most efficient path for you, not the inner boss. Heal (i.e. love) this first, and then that, and then that, etc. And we might wonder if this is ever going to end! So we immediately love the one that’s concerned. But at some point, we start to feel better, and more confident. We start to get the sense that the super sensitive child in our heart is toughening up, is feeling stronger and more grown up. Why? Because we’ve learned to be its nurturer and protector by loving what arises. And this feels good, very good. That long line of who needs love is starting to get smaller. Amen.

This more feminine way is actually very balanced. We’re not afraid to do any work we have to do, or address what needs to be addressed, so the masculine is always on call (and if we do notice that fear, we love it by loving the one inside that’s afraid). But bringing in the feminine is the name of the game now, and it’s so powerful! How do I know? Because I’ve been experiencing it. And it’s so cool… I’ve been experiencing it in my sessions with clients as well as in the talks that I love to give. And in regular interactions with people, too. I’ve been bringing more space into all of these situations and interactions, slowing things down, and it’s been getting more and more powerful. Deeper. You can feel it. So cool. And the good news is that this is totally not natural for me! So there’s hope for all…

So there we go! Just a little update. And it’s always my honor to pass this stuff on. I’m seeing with the clients that are finding their way to me that my role is pretty clear: to be one of the ones that’s ushering in this new spiritual paradigm. It’s just such an honor and privilege to share this. It’s really the best job in the world, because I’m seeing how needed it is. These beautiful and innocent souls have been coming in, and they’ve been working and trying their asses off. And they’re not at peace and they’re crushing themselves for it. And life just doesn’t make sense. And then when I share what I’ve been learning and experiencing, things feels so much better, often right away. Things get simpler. And the journey starts to make sense.

There’s a good bit of this new stuff that I haven’t shared here yet, because to be honest I don’t know how at this point. It’s more of the big picture “why” sort of thing, and it’s definitely getting further into woo-woo land. But I’m obviously a major woo-woo (because I’m so damn logical and have studied so much, like near death experiences and quantum physics, without a prior belief system to adhere to), so it’s only a matter of time. So we’ll see how that shakes out. I’m pitching a really cool talk to give around town now, and it’ll explain everything. So if you’re local, be on the lookout for it. And in the meantime, take care, and love that “little buddy” or “little honey” in your heart as best you can. And if that seems difficult or impossible, try your best to love the one that can’t love yet; that’s your doorway in. And as always, let me know if I can help. And I’ll see about those partially written blogs posts… And then Portland! OMG……. Peace 🙂


All anybody really wants is peace. The good news is that peace can be learned. I’m serious. This should be taught in middle school, but it’s not. So I’m teaching it now.

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