A Clean Mind

Blogging about a less stressful way to live…

I’m Baa-aack… HOLY WOW!!

So I went to see my spiritual man crush guy Matt Kahn last weekend for a three day retreat. And wow. Whoa. Coolest. Guy. Ever. Truly amazing to see this dude operate! He’s basically an open channel for the universe that’s allowed all of his personal BS to be cleared out over the years. Cool and hilarious and ridiculously intuitive – ridiculously intuitive. He know things, lots of things. Without even trying. So natural, it just comes through, whatever is most needed at the time. He’s also incredibly nice and humble and gracious and polite, too. And real. And normal. One way all the time, whether on stage or off. Just unbelievable.

Also I took lots of notes, which I’ve posted in six posts, one for each of the six sessions (he first one from Thursday night is here). He was dropping bombs left and right, and they weren’t recording it as they often do for purchase later. Like the Feel Good Now retreat that I wrote about last summer for $111. Which is nothing, considering how it might start to rewire your whole existence, as it has mine. And the retreat after that from last October, Becoming The Beloved – that’s on sale for even less, $99. I’ll write about that soon as well, giving you the link and the promo code. What a bargain! Back to the story… And it’s a bit long, but it’s all just so cool and interesting that I thought you might want to hear about it. Here we go…

So we were at a new retreat center in northern California called 1440 Multiversity. It’s south of Silicon Valley and a bit north of Santa Cruz. I saw tons of Teslas and a Ferrari dealership… yay Cally! It’s on a beautiful piece of property out among the massive redwood trees, misty in the morning, hiking trails, an infinity hot tub, and amazing, healthy food. That’s always huge at these kinds of things – amazing, healthy food. And the people that work at this place are so freaking nice! Like, ridiculously nice. Genuinely happy. Glowing. That was one of the coolest things about it.

We started on Thursday night, went all day Friday and Saturday, and finished by lunchtime on Sunday. Then I stayed a couple of extra nights with an old friend from Pensacola that lives out there. I caught a cold on the flight over, and my right ear hasn’t popped yet. And it’s been five days. So it’s like there’s a megaphone in my head. I think it’s just the lingering congestion. I’ve had glimpses of The Pop and the normal hearing that comes with it, and then it reverts back. All good, it’ll happen in due time. I think it’s getting a little better, in fact. The client sessions since I’ve been back have been awesome, so we’re doing just fine. And as always with anything I learn, I was able to apply the new stuff right away, without even thinking about it. I mean, a client would bring up a subject and it would be exactly one of the topics we had just covered. So cool.

It was a very intimate gathering. There were maybe 180 people, which sounds like way more than it was. It felt very small and intimate, and the energy in the room was insane. It wouldn’t take long in each session for there to be a deep, very palpable stillness. Some call it samadhi. And with a group that size all vibrating that way together, it feels really cool. It’s like everyone’s mind has been totally silenced. That’s what happens a lot with him, in fact. Questions are asked that are designed not to be answered but rather to blow the small mind to bits. This is all about approaching life from a higher vantage point, a higher consciousness, where solutions already are – not trying to solve problems from the same level of consciousness that created them. It’s a totally different spin, a different way of going about things. It feels better and it works better, the win-win that we love so much here at A Clean Mind. So I’m sitting with a large group of people and our minds have all been blown, and our bodies feel strangely light and awesome. So cool.

There were certainly times when people felt challenged, but it wasn’t because he was trying to be a jerk; quite the contrary, in fact. This is easily the most loving, heart-centered stuff I’ve ever experienced (I mean, his first book is called Whatever Arises, Love That, after all). It was just that awakened consciousness was arising in them and butting up against their old conditioning, their old thinking and beliefs, their old smallness. And none of that stuff is meant to survive! So just breathe and relax and let it unravel. After all, life will eventually unravel whatever is not meant to survive anyway (the ego and all of its beliefs and habits and patterns), so let’s go ahead and get on with it. By breathing and letting it burn to the ground. One woman said her body was totally burning, in fact, and she wanted to run. Again, that was her ego fearing for its life. And for good reason! When this happens, we lean into the fire and let it burn. I’ve talked about this before, like the morning after that football game not long ago. Anything that burns away is only stuff that we don’t need, so let it burn. It was really cool to see him work with her when she said this, and I really respected her for being so honest in front of everyone. I forgot what he said or had her repeat, but it got her body to relax and go along with the plan.

Then a guy stood up after her to say he was experiencing the same thing, and he was also feeling like falling sleep and even passing out. Matt explained each. Falling asleep happens when we’re not used to our nervous system being so relaxed. Our mind only associates a level of deep relaxation with sleep, so the body thinks, “Yay, bedtime!” The feeling of passing out is different, though. That’s when the conscious mind is being challenged too much, with old beliefs crumbling. It freaks out, so the intelligent body just bypasses it altogether by passing out. Then the subconscious mind can take over and receive the teachings just fine (the conscious mind will catch up later). So cool. Also note that a couple of clients just this past week since I’ve been back have told me they’ve fallen asleep listening to some of his talks that I’ve shared. I said great, let the body rest. Eventually you’ll get used to it.

The other people at the retreat were all very nice. I’ve been through the spiritual ringer over about the last fifteen years, going to lots and lots of workshops and retreats right from the beginning. It all started in the “energy world” for me, and to be honest it was a bunch of massive energy addicts and huge spiritual egos, including me! And bless our hearts, we were all doing our best at the time. But it was not a very mature path at all. Hey, you gotta start somewhere… And since that’s where I was, then that’s exactly where I was supposed to have been. I’ve already started writing a post about my own path and all the twists and turns, so hopefully I’ll get it finished at some point. But thankfully it has gotten more and more mature with each step along the way. And the people at the events have totally reflected that. They’re just more chill and relaxed, with less of an edge. There was something about the people at that first retreat. When the first lunch break came, I sensed an ugly vibe, a vibe that felt like it didn’t belong. Then I realized they were all jockeying for position to go to lunch with the guru guy! And that guy was actually pretty cool. But these people that seemed all chill just a few minutes before now seemed liked they’d step over their own grandmother if they could sit with the teacher and gain whatever they could gain from such close proximity. It. Felt. Awful. And I was totally “bright eyed and bushy tailed,” (where on earth does that expression come from??), but I picked up on what was happening loud and clear.

I moved pretty quickly from the “energy world” to the “consciouness world,” and what a difference. And the path continued from there. But nothing so far compares to this. There’s still some of that stuff that I mentioned above, but I think a small amount is just being human; I don’t know that it’s ever totally gone. I feel very good about these people and their spiritual maturity, and that’s a direct reflection of the teacher and the teachings.

Speaking of which, the way in which Matt works is amazing to watch. He says he has an idea of what he might want to teach beforehand, but then when he sits down something totally different might pop in. Or he could have an idea of what he wants to teach, and then another teaching is sparked by a conversation at breakfast or on the walk over to the auditorium. You get the idea. That’s what happened at each session, it seemed. New teachings as well as new slants and nuances of old teachings are coming in all the time. And it all just flows. It was flawless. He’s just such a clear channel for the universe that this is exactly what that group most needs at that time.

On Saturday morning, for instance, I was not at peace. It wasn’t a crisis or anything, just feeling strange, feeling off. And what he talked about to begin the session addressed exactly what the issue was. It’ll be in the notes later, but it’s that when consciouness begins to awaken in an individual, it wakes up before the emotional body matures. So there’s still some junk in the emotional body, and it’s like the ego really sees itself for the first time. And it is ashamed of what it sees. And that can feel awful. Are you doing anything wrong? No! You’re waking up, which is beautiful. It’s just an awkward stage, like when a new president is elected and the old president moves out of the White House before the new one has fully moved in. It’s awkward. It’s transitional. But still, it’s nothing more than a temporary, totally normal phase. When he said this, I realized it was exactly what I was experiencing. And in seeing it, it vanished on the spot with a hearty, “mind = blown” laugh. And a thank heavens for this guy! Lots of gratitude. Nothing to work through, nothing to heal, nothing to clear. Just more clear seeing. Just some true understanding of what on earth is going on. Thank you, brother, thank you. And what a perfect thing to clear up on Saturday morning, since the last day and a half had provided plenty of time for stuff to be stirred up. Old stuff saying good bye on its way out. Bye-bye…

So that type of thing would happen. Also he would begin a session with a mind blowing teaching, and then it would wind around to all this amazing stuff. For like two hours. And then out of nowhere, it would come back full circle to whatever he had said to start the whole thing. And since you’d totally forgotten about that since it was two hours ago, it’s like a bomb had been dropped. You’re sitting there smiling and thinking, “How does he do that??” But here’s how – it’s not difficult at all for the super intelligent universe, and that’s what is in charge. He’s just mastered being an open channel, so everything else happens naturally and effortlessly. He doesn’t plan it or even know it’s going to happen, so he’s just as awestruck as we are. In fact, he doesn’t know what’s going to come out of his mouth in any moment until it comes out (that’s how he lives 24-7). It’s the universe talking, not an ego. WOW. Again, it was amazing to see this in action.

So that’s the flow of one session; there’s also the flow of the whole retreat. It started Thursday night with him saying things to sort of dismantle and unhook us from our old, outdated beliefs. He tunes into the group energetically like it’s one being, and he feels out where we are and what we need. It’s effortless, too – he doesn’t even have to close his eyes. Then he says simple things that blow your mind, yet you feel really good and spacious at the same time. That’s the body saying YES. And he pointed out that the part of us that doesn’t understand in any moment isn’t supposed to understand; in fact, it can’t understand! So let it burn or unravel or whatever. And the effect of that first session is to clear lots of space to make room for a ton of truth later. And a ton of truth we got.

Then the final session wrapped up the whole thing up beautifully. There was a teaching on abundance that blew my mind and made me laugh at the same time because it was so awesome and simple. It was really different and fresh, and also WAY less pressure-packed than the common way it can be taught, which often leads to people thinking, “Why do I suck so much at abundance??” Hahaha, funny but true. No pressure at all here. Then there was a teaching about a simple way to be at peace in any moment. Hey, that sounds great! Then there were some other teachings, and he finished it all up with a teaching about relaxing and not working on ourselves all the time. That’s what spiritual people tend to do, in case you haven’t noticed… And it’s endless! (I’ll probably give some talks around town about this eventually, because it’s so important). Just go home and be normal. There’s a time for work, like if you’re going through an emotional process, but we’ve already done the “constant work” phase enough. We’ve graduated. Be more normal and let life evolve you. Let it do its thing. Let life be in charge, and not you. Because who do you think is more qualified?? Feel free to laugh out loud, by the way. I mean LOL… And notice that we’re back to our win-win of feeling better AND getting better results in life.

Also if we can feel so awesome and peaceful at the retreat, then why can’t we feel that way at home? What’s different besides the costumes that consciousness is wearing (i.e. the people around you are different)? Does that really make it impossible for you to experience this level of peace? No, it does not. So bring it on. Let’s commit to life even more fully, because that’s why we’re here. We’re here to bring heaven to earth, and that’s what we’re doing, and this is what it looks like. Bring it on. And with someone like Matt to give us these “cosmic briefings,” as he calls them, the rules of the game are getting more clear all the time. Yes, even with all the chaos in the world. We’re the ones that came here to clean this place up, at this exact crazy time, and we’re doing it by letting our light shine more and more. By being ourselves, because that’s who we came here to be. Not anyone else – YOU. Exactly as you are right now. And that feels good. Peace and love to you, and enjoy the upcoming notes! There are lots of them, by the way… And as always, let me know if I can help 🙂


All anybody really wants is peace. The good news is that peace can be learned. I’m serious. This should be taught in middle school, but it’s not. So I’m teaching it now.

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