A Clean Mind

Blogging about a less stressful way to live…

Flipping Desire

This is really cool, folks. We’re going to take another look at desire to see if we can have a totally different experience of it. And yes, it comes from listening to Matt Kahn, which I kind of do a lot these days… For like the last nine and a half months straight… Whoa, the gestation period of a human baby, interesting. Well, not straight, because when you’re full that means it’s time to take a break and let things integrate, let what you’ve learned sink in. After all, the slow way is the fast way. And then when you feel ready again, you pick up where you left off. And that’s how it works. It’s just like when you water the grass, if you keep watering for too long the water will puddle up; it needs to sink in before it’s time for more water. So many of us are shifting so fast – really fast! – and we need periods of rest and integration. Back to the story… Oh, wait – first let me tell you that this comes from Matt’s Becoming The Beloved retreat from October 2017 that I’ve written about that’s been on sale for $99. For sixteen hours of these ridiculous, transformational talks. Do it! Here we go…

There are many of us that tend to experience desire as lack, a reminder of what we don’t have. And that doesn’t feel good. The thought pops in that we want something, and then we feel bad because we don’t have it. We’re always practicing loving what arises here at A Clean Mind, so it can certainly help to love the part of us that feels this way; we always align with the breath first (fancy words for “take a deep breath”), and we love what arises. Giving some loving attention to the one inside that feels lack can never hurt, and it can even help you start feeling better immediately.

But let’s take it to the next level. And note that some Law of Attraction (LOA) folks will be familiar with this. I’d recommend putting what you know aside for now, though, so you can check this out with fresh eyes. I’ll address LOA a bit below, and I’m sure we’ll address it more later in a post called The New Law Of Attraction. Because we’re in a new paradigm now with new rules, so let’s start fresh. And anything you already know will still be there to pick up again anyway, so there’s no pressure, no risk. Back to the story…

So let’s experiment with something besides desire being an experience of lack. Let’s flip desire and let it be a good experience, a fulfilling one, rather than an unpleasant one. And this will happen energetically, because feeling is energy. And even when you do get what you want, it’s not the thing itself but rather the feeling of having it that you’re truly after. So even if you don’t have something physically, you can still have the experience energetically. What??

So actually feel the desire; feel that energy in your body. Let it flow, let it move. You might even close your eyes and imagine that you already have whatever it is that you want (and please, if you’re driving then either don’t close your eyes or pull over, thanks). When you do this, it can feel really amazing! Again, that’s because you’re having the same experience energetically. Then just go on about your day, with that nice feeling lingering.

This is where we have to be sharp, though, and this is where we’ll deviate from some of the LOA thought process. Because our foundation is that the universe is super smart and it knows what’s best for us in every moment (that’s actually the new law of attraction, by the way, that you’re already attracting exactly what you need for your soul to grow in the most efficient way). The universe is in charge of what I have and what I don’t have, not my ego (even if it’s a fancy spiritual ego like the one that’s unraveling in me!). The more we’re rooted in this understanding, the more we can let the feeling of desire be a fulfilling, positive energetic experience of having what we want. And then we just go on about our day feeling good and spacious. But the LOA stuff generally moves right into thoughts like this: “How do I make it happen? I need to get that. I need to manifest it. Why is it not here? Why is it taking so long?? Why do I suck at manifesting? Am I being punished?! Was I a major jerk in my past lives?” And that kind of thinking, even more subtle versions (I exaggerated to make it clear – but trust me, many people do think that way), feels awful.

The LOA folks tend to go right into manifesting mode, in which they need to do some work to make it happen, to bring what they want into reality. And then there’s judgment if it doesn’t work or if it takes a long time. But here’s the deal, it’s the ego that’s doing all that fancy dance, not the soul. It’s like having a five-year-old with the car keys, about to crank up the engine. Not the best plan! It’s totally innocent, so innocent, just wanting desperately to help. And it’s part of everyone’s journey (present company included, big time!). But it’s not the best plan.

So let’s shift to how the soul sees things. Because with the assumption that the universe is in charge – meaning it’s totally fine that I don’t have it, of course I don’t have it, because clearly I’m not supposed to have it at this time! – that game is all out the window. We don’t have to do that anymore. I’ve played that game, and I know for a fact that many people that do end up judging themselves mercilessly. They’re always needing this or that, and peace is nowhere to be found. Wanting it, and then enjoying the feeling of imagining having it, and then going about your day – that’s where the peace is. Wanting leads to more wanting; having leads to more having. Breathe with that for a bit, because it really blew me away when I first heard it. What we’re doing now is having the experience. And then we’re going about our day. Done.

Another take is that desiring something is a preview of what life already has in store for you. That’s pretty interesting… But you have to be prepared to receive it first, and sometimes that requires change. Maybe our desires, then, are what the universe uses to lead us into growth. So the preparation time can be long or short, and it has nothing to do with your manifesting abilities. This really is that separate post called The New Law Of Attraction, which we’ve pretty much covered already. So much more simple. When you notice a desire, shift right to the feeling of having it. But not to make it come to you (that’s the universe’s job), but just to have a nice experience in that moment. Then just go on about your day, knowing that you’re being prepared to receive it. And anytime a part of you shows up that says, “But I don’t have it and I want it,” just love that little one on the spot. And… go on about your day.

By the way, “little buddy” and “little honey” have become the names I’ve been using in sessions and in talks when talking about our heart, our inner child. And it’s become sort of a running joke, because it sounds so cheesy and ridiculous. But it works! So maybe that’s another blog post. And there might be another one called “Then Just Go On About Your Day.” Because that’s a big theme, too. Stop over-analyzing everything! And I will, too. Just keep moving forward. See how bad you can do it (because you probably can’t). If you really need a certain insight or thought, it’ll pop in much better the less you try.

So there we go, folks, the tale of Flipping Desire. Test this out and play with it. And here’s a final thing to point out that’s really important – there will often be a part of you that feels a burn when you make the choice to dive into the energetic experience. If not, great, but if so, then it’s just that little ego that thinks it needs it now. So… let it burn, a very loving burn. It’s just some innocent smallness in you that you no longer need. Love the burning one and move on. And in short time, those old energies will be cleared out and you really will start to have the nice energetic experience of having what it is that you want without any sense of lack. You’ll also become more rooted in the fact – FACT! – that the universe is in charge, not your ego, and it knows exactly what it’s doing. And your whole relationship with desire will change, because you’ve flipped it from a negative experience of lack to an experience that is fulfilling. And do you know what will happen then? You’ll just go on about your day.


All anybody really wants is peace. The good news is that peace can be learned. I’m serious. This should be taught in middle school, but it’s not. So I’m teaching it now.

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