A Clean Mind

Blogging about a less stressful way to live…

Book: Dying To Be Me

Hello Good Folks. So we got The God Post out of the way, and then we talked about these deeper feelings of peace that supposedly live inside each of us, underneath our old pain and wounds. Now let’s talk about the amazing and transformative book that I’ve recently mentioned, Dying To Be Me by Anita Moorjani. Because what often happens is that I’ll read or listen to an amazing and transformative book that I know will be perfect for this blog. And then a couple days pass. And then a couple of weeks pass. And then a couple of months pass. You know where this is going… And I’ll remember how awesome the book was, but the details will have faded. And it never gets written about. But not this time! Let me start with the brief synopsis I wrote in The God Post. So I am plagiarizing myself. I think you can do that… And beware, this is another long post. We’re covering some major stuff here, though, so let’s just let it fly.

Dying To Be Me is one of the more detailed and amazing accounts of a near death experience (NDE) to date, coupled with being one of the more miraculous cancer comebacks. As in, a true medical/scientific miracle. From knocking on death’s door, body totally done and actively dying, to slipping into a coma and experiencing the true magnificence of what she is (and you and me, too, right now!), to making a total comeback. And in record time, too. That might be the most inexplicable part to modern medical science. They kept testing her for cancer cells and she kept saying not to bother because she knew the cancer was gone. And they were basically thinking the machines were broken since the cancer had left her body so quickly. And she had been full of tumors the size of lemons just a few weeks prior! The doctors said it was impossible that the cancer had left her body that fast, and other oncologists have since verified the medical records. The other cool thing is that she knew things she could not have known, like a conversation her husband had with a doctor while she was in a coma. But they were not in the same room, and they were out of earshot, and she even knew which doctor it was because she saw him (there were many doctors that attended to her). And there’s more that she knew as well. So for a skeptical type, this is very, very rich.

Part One sets things up with her childhood, and while it’s fairly long and drawn out, it’s important to understand the cultural pressures and that type of thing that were innocently placed upon her, leading to inner turmoil and conflict later, which eventually contributed to the creation of her cancer. And yes, you read that correctly – inner fears and stuff that contributed to the creation of her cancer. There’s more to cause and effect than meets the eye, good folks, and we’re starting to figure it out.

Anita was from an Indian family in Hong Kong. Now, I have lots of friends from India, and I LOVE them! You have no idea how much I love these people. They’re the most ridiculously nice people I’ve ever met. In fact, I thought one of them was going to give me his first born child once because I’d done something nice for him back in college and he was so appreciative. So how should we say this… India is not exactly the most advanced place in terms of gender equality. Women are pretty much raised to get married and be subservient to the man. And Anita’s soul screamed hell no, that’s not me! She ended up with an awesome and devoted husband who did not want the “slave” version of a wife anyway, so it all worked out. Still, there was some inner turmoil regarding living up to the expectations of others. And then some friends got cancer, and she became obsessed with it. This obsession led to a ton of fear surrounding cancer as well as most cancer treatments. Cue up more inner turmoil… And she eventually got cancer herself. She had a four-year dance with cancer in which she tried all kinds of treatments from holistic to conventional western treatments. After four years, her body was done. Toast. End of the line. Oxygen mask, feeding tube, totally frail, organs shutting down. She was actively dying.

Part Two begins here, as she’s being rushed to the hospital in this state and slips into a coma. And all of a sudden, she wants to tell her husband and the medical staff, “It’s all okay! I feel great! Why are you worrying so much?” And then she realizes they can’t hear her, because her physical body is in a coma. And the real Self that she is experiencing in that moment is not confined to a physical body anymore. Wha?? She is experiencing what might be called the Soul, the I Am presence, the true Self, or other names. And it’s limitless and feels AWESOME, by all accounts. You know everything. There’s total clarity, and it’s all so simple. And you need do nothing. Repeat, you need do nothing. Your simple existence – I Am, I Exist – is your ticket to unconditional love, always. Which she says, by the way, is freaking amazing! Words don’t even come close to describing it. There’s no judgment, either. And this is HUGE! As she says, “Judgment is a here thing (meaning earth), not a there thing.” It literally doesn’t exist. Bam! I’ll take some of that. A huge serving of total innocence, please! Wow… Our guilt, for most of us at least, is SO deep and unconscious. But we are starting to awaken to the truth of the matter more and more. And that’s what my life’s mission, and that of so many others at this time, is all about. Learning that, experiencing it, and sharing it with others. So it’s nice to be on the awakening journey with you. Awakening to what we already are.

Part Two is just amazing in so many ways, as she experiences the presence of both her father and her best friend, both of whom had died a few years prior. And they were (are) pure love. Pure love? Wow. And the message, the fact, is that as crazy as it might sound, pure love is literally your (and my) essence right now, without having to lift a finger. Almost all of us here on earth don’t remember, though, so that’s what we’re waking up to. And I’m in the exact same boat as you, trust me! In fact, I’ve recently been given some opportunities to see where I’m thinking I’m small, as opposed to this infinite, already perfect Self. Anita also experienced that time is not what we think it is. Just focus on something and you’re there. You can go anywhere in time and also slow it down and speed it up. And the new physics would agree, so that’s nice. And she experienced at least one “past life,” which she calls a “parallel life” since time isn’t actually real (it only seems to be linear and sequential here in the physical world).

And there’s lots more, too. Like the things she knew while in the out of body (OBE) state that checked out later with her husband, mother, brother, and the hospital doctors and nurses. They were all truly baffled. There’s lots of it, which is great for the skeptic! Because our worldview must explain how this is possible. And note that every person in every one of these accounts over the years has to be lying or else this is legit. And there of tons of these experiences, across cultures, generations, gender, age, socioeconomic status, predominant religion, etc. As a math major, it’s ridiculous to think that not one is telling the truth. Probability almost zero. Also I’ve noticed how skeptical folks can innocently come up with very detailed, complicated, and convoluted explanations for these phenomena. There’s one really simple explanation, though: This stuff is legit, it is actually more real than our earth world (doesn’t your past seem sort of like a dream?), and it’s just like they say. There are just waaaay too many of these accounts by now to ignore; take a look for yourself. And remember that it’s ultimately good news! This is really important to remember if it starts to rock your beliefs and worldview. I know from experience that this can be uncomfortable, so please know that I’m not minimizing it. And do let me know if I can help – seriously, you have support.

Now we get to the best part, which is Part Three, the final part of the book. It just keeps delivering the gold, right through to the Q&A at the end. This third part is where she’s had this amazing experience of her – and our – true Self. And this is what you and I are right freaking now!!! And I know that this is really hard to believe, trust me on that. We are literally already perfect, totally innocent, infintely creative and powerful and loving, and we don’t need to grow or heal or evolve. We need to remember. We come to earth and forget what we are, and I have no clue why. I’ve heard plenty of ideas over the years, and I’m working on it all the time – and I will always keep you posted on what I find out when I find it. And to be honest, this has made me pretty frustrated and pissed off over the years, wondering what the whole point is! But that hasn’t helped. Some say we simply like these experiences, literally as if we’re playing a totally realistic virtual reality video game. And as crazy as earth life can be, that makes as much sense to me as anything else.

So she’s had this amazing experience, and she chose to return to the body, making that choice from her full I Am power, the same power that’s YOUR true essence right now. Since she made the choice from the infinite power of her true Self, she absolutely knew that the cancer would have no chance. And you know what? There’s a medical chart at a hospital somewhere in Hong Kong that proves this. Her body “miraculously” made a full recovery, and she now has the rest of her life to live. How are things different? What did she learn? How has she changed? This is where it gets really good, in terms of stuff that we can learn to help us awaken to what we really are. The gist of it is that she knows that the mere fact that she exists gets her permanently into the party of unconditional love and worthiness. She is simply here to be herself, and that’s good enough. And by being ourself, our path will unfold. Done. And self love naturally comes into play as well. If we’re really this magnificent, eternal being, and we got confused and thought we were a body that was insecure at times and going do die someday, getting sick a bunch along the way, then OF COURSE we would do some terrible, selfish, mean, and fearful stuff! How would that not happen? So being super hard on ourselves is gone. Withholding love from ourselves is a thing of the past. Self love is the way, all the time. We’ve talked about this a ton here at this blog, especially back in February of this year, and experiences like hers validate that even more. And again, there are TONS of these experiences. Take a look around. This just happens to be a very rich one.

Another big shift for Anita is that when she’s stressed, the first thing she does is get centered. She’s found that when she does so, the situation will often work itself out, or will at least get way more manageable than before. When she tries to handle the situation while stressed, though, she inevitably won’t do as good a job. And again, after getting centered it will often resolve itself! We’ve talked about this here before, but the cool thing is that from her point of view, she experienced that each of us is literally the center of Oneness. So “getting centered” is not just expression, it’s the literal, factual truth! Whoa. And we are at the center of our universe all the time, it’s just that when we’re stressed or triggered, we’re not aware of it. So she might take a walk, listen to music, sit on the beach, have ice cream, meditate, or whatever it takes in that moment. And then when she feels centered, she will revisit the situation as appropriate. So cool. And you can start experimenting with this today if you’d like 🙂

There’s so much more, really too much to cover here. She talks about diet, religious and spiritual paths, feelings, growth, feeling perfection in any moment, manifesting/attracting versus allowing (but as the Self, not the self – big difference), doing versus being, self-judgment as one of our main problems, living your life fearlessly, how to let your path unfold (just be yourself – don’t be lazy, though!), and more. And she sums it all up with the analogy of the blind person, and we will close with this. This is big. She said her experience out of body was like if a blind person could suddenly see for the first time. They’ve lived their whole life trying to understand things like color, with people trying to explain it to them over and over again, in many different ways: “Blue is cool, red is warm, etc.” And then suddenly they can see! “Oh, that’s blue. And that’s red. Wow, the words just couldn’t do it. Now I know!” Can you imagine how there’s simply no substitute for being able to see? Then she said if that person were to become blind again, even though they could no longer see, they would have the memory. So they’d be in a totally different boat than they had been in before. And that’s Anita’s experience now. She’s no longer in that state, but she remembers. So she feels way more expanded and free than she did before her NDE. And you and I are using experiences like hers and so many others to start chipping away at our beliefs of smallness and our misperceptions about what we really are. So cool. I’m sure we will be talking more about this. And I know this is powerful stuff and can shake your foundation, too! I respect that a lot, trust me. So keep in mind that the moral of the story is that our true reality is way beyond anything than our earthly minds could even imagine. And way better! And you have support if needed. Much love to you.


All anybody really wants is peace. The good news is that peace can be learned. I’m serious. This should be taught in middle school, but it’s not. So I’m teaching it now.

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