A Clean Mind

Blogging about a less stressful way to live…

Talk Nicely… To Yourself

Hi folks! Today I’m going to attempt a shorter blog post. It hit me that that might be the answer to how to stay in touch and keep the convo going while working so much. There’s just too much to talk about and lately it hasn’t been happening (due to work and wanting to chill after). Excellent work has been going on, though, and there have been many transformations. Many. And I know it’s not a convo since there are no comments, but that seems like kind of a nightmare to me. I’m always open to emails and do want to hear from you. Your peace is something I’m very interested in. We’re all in this thing together, after all. Maybe comments down the line, maybe not.

So let’s talk again about what is probably the most important variable regarding your peace, the voice in the head! Since it’s your voice, and you’re the one doing the talking, I’m going to suggest a radical idea. Talk nicely. Be supportive. Really? You can do that?? Yes! It just takes practice. Try this one out for size. When you catch yourself in your head, take a deep, relaxing breath and literally let go of that mean character on the spot. It should feel nice. Then tell yourself in a supportive, loving tone, “Relax [insert your name here], you’re doing your best.” And yes, use third person. So for me, it would be, “Relax Ashley, you’re doing your best.” This one has been rocking my world lately. It just feels so relaxing. It stops the chatter in its tracks. At least for a little while, and that’s important. It breaks the momentum.

A couple of people have tried this and said that right away a mean voice comes up and responds, “No, you’re not.” As in you’re not doing your best. For one, I truly believe that we are doing our best. Sometimes it doesn’t look very good, but that’s where we were at the time. Own it, learn what you can, and move on. So that’s my answer to that mean voice. But even if you don’t believe that we’re really doing our best as we go through life, let me ask you this. Has that harsh, judgmental, critical voice really helped you out? Has it made your life smoother? Has it made you a better person? Probably not. On the contrary, it’s probably made your mood go down and your stress go up. Then why don’t we just try things a different way for a little while and see what happens?

So give that a shot. If the voice is a problem and I’m the one doing the talking, then I’m going to talk nicely. Then just innocently practice and this new way of talking to yourself will take hold more and more. Over time, it’ll become the rule and not the exception. You will lose your taste for that mean voice after a while; it’ll just feel wrong. We’re shifting some of your power back to you when we do this. You’ll be able to handle stressful situations better than ever. Your body will relax more and more. You might sleep better. You’ll also be able to access the wise version of you that’s in there 100% of the time but just gets covered up. By the harsh voice. Which is your voice. So let that character go! After a while, the volume will be turned down and you’ll see that you’ve had power over it all along. Be patient, though, because it’s been allowed to run wild for so long. If the reincarnation crowd is correct, then that might been thousands of lifetimes. We don’t even have to worry about that, though, because this one is long enough when we’re talking about the insanity of being mean to ourselves. “Relax, Ashley, you’re doing your best.” Ahh, feels nice…


All anybody really wants is peace. The good news is that peace can be learned. I’m serious. This should be taught in middle school, but it’s not. So I’m teaching it now.

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