A Clean Mind

Blogging about a less stressful way to live…

Love & Suicide

I thought I’d written about this before, but apparently not. I couldn’t find it in a search, anyway. It’s kind of cool that this blog has gone on long enough now, with so many posts, that I forget what’s been written about and what’s not. The “me” that wrote that first post way back in January 2012 could not have imagined where we’d be now! Which is so cool… But what’s not cool is all these people taking their own lives. Again, I meant to write about this years ago. Even if I had, though, it’d be time to talk about it again now, because enough is enough. For one, I’m working with clients that are suicide survivors. Then a couple of weeks ago, I ran into my cousin and he said an old friend of his had recently committed suicide out of the blue. Then Kate Spade hung herself, maybe the next day. And then Anthony Bourdain did the same a few days after that. Anthony Bourdain?? Wow… And of course the daily suicide rate of military personnel, whether active duty, reserve, or retired, is beyond comprehension (don’t even get me started on their mental health “treatment”). What’s going on here??

So I’m going to write some stuff that might help someone, might not. It’ll just be my own thoughts on the matter. I’m no expert, but I can say from my own experience that I can see how someone would want to do it. And I haven’t talked about this with many people, so if you are shocked then all good! I’m totally fine. Just keep reading, because it was an essential part of my path. As I’ll explain, I was never actually suicidal, but I’ve absolutely seen how someone would want to do it. Because the pain has been unbearable. And yet I’ve been able to bear it. That’s the thing, it doesn’t seem like it’s possible to survive in the moment. But thankfully, it always is.

When I was younger, I never would’ve thought I’d be able to say I’d be able to empathize with someone that was suicidal. No way! I was always really happy and full of joy and on the go all over the place, having a really fun time. And I was usually hanging out with people that were similarly inclined. Then the spiritual journey began, and it eventually led to some pain that I didn’t know existed. I didn’t know how to love myself through it, and I also didn’t know that my energy field was being purged so that more light could enter. And when your pain is spiritual pain, it really sucks. That’s because your problem is with the Universe/God/Source. And if that’s who your problem is with, and you’re not getting any answers, then where else can you go?? You’ve already gone to the top! So you’re screwed, sitting there in massive pain and feeling all alone. Not cool.

I also didn’t know that I was experiencing hell so that I could identify with it and thereby help others through it. I didn’t know I was experiencing it so that I could be a living testimony that you can get through it and end up feeling better than you ever have before. And it sure has helped me do my job, because even some clients in just the last couple of weeks have started arriving on the shores of peace after experiencing their own hell, their own purge, their own dark night of the soul. And I’m so glad I’ve been able to help them through it. And let’s be clear – to see someone go through that and come out better and shinier than ever, even having gratitude for whatever caused them to feel so bad because of how much they transformed – that feels amazing!

So how do we get there? How does one go from the lowest of lows to feeling strong and vibrant? Because that potential does exist in everyone. I’m not saying it’s easy, not at all; but it’s there. And it involves everything that we’ve been talking about for the last year here. You see, how you feel comes from how you feel about yourself. How you feel comes from how you feel about yourself. And people that feel good don’t commit suicide. So by sharing what we’ve been calling “loving what arises,” we can really make a difference with the suicide rate. And understanding the energetic reality of even the lowest of low feelings is huge. It’s energy, and it wants to move; it has to move. And when we’re loving the one in pain and knowing about the raw energetic nature of pain, moving turns into leaving. So it’s always temporary, even when it seems like it’s been around for so long. And as we love the parts of ourselves that hurt, they heal, one by one. And after a while there are no more to heal. But well before that, you’re living an amazing life that’s miles and miles away from suicide. Hells yes.

My dream is that this stuff makes its way into our educational system at some point, because that would really make a dent in the suicide rate. And who knows, maybe I’ll play a role in that someday. Corporate America could use this information as well – big time – and that’s also something that I’m thinking about. Let’s spread the word. So share this with anyone that could use it! Suicide is said to be a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But it’s not even a permanent solution, because my understanding is that the unresolved pain goes with the soul to the next place they go. It’s all good, though, because they’ll either work it out there or they’ll come back here to work it out. It’ll get worked out either way, and there will eventually be a happy ending; I know that.

But we’re here now, so screw it, let’s do the work and get on with it. Let’s get on with it, right here and right now. And the things we talk about here at A Clean Mind really are powerful and they really are answers to suicide. How you feel comes from how you feel about yourself. How you feel comes from how you feel about yourself, and it’s my honor to help people see how innocent they truly are. To help people see that earth ain’t easy, and that they actually have been doing their best this whole time. Yes, my best has sucked before, too. It can take some time to get this and there can be some growing pains, but the truth is the truth. And the truth is good. And the truth is YOU. So hang in there, give this some time and practice, and as always, let me know if I can help.


All anybody really wants is peace. The good news is that peace can be learned. I’m serious. This should be taught in middle school, but it’s not. So I’m teaching it now.

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