A Clean Mind

Blogging about a less stressful way to live…

What If You Were Going To Die Soon?

This one has been around a while, but not many people actually do it. Just ask yourself if you were going to die soon, what would jump way up on your priority list? I’d say go ahead and take care of that list. Then you can enjoy your life more.

I was reminded of this by a friend who actually does it. And it works! It gives him a quick shift when he needs it. I call that type of thing a quick attitude adjustment. It’s a specific tool he has at his disposal at all times. It’s quick and simple and gets results. I love it.

This tool could be used when we’re being lazy or passive and we want to get out and live more. It could be used for bigger things, too. I always feel like our interpersonal relationships are what life is really about at the end of the day. This means you have the opportunity to make any phone calls or send any letters, emails, or texts to do your part to heal strained relationships. When you do this, it’s probably a good idea to sit down, close your eyes, go inward, and feel any feelings that you’ve been carrying related to that person/situation. Get those feelings moving so they can leave, which is what they want to do anyway. When you’ve done this, you’re more cleared out and can proceed better.

When it comes to actually communicating with this person, know that the result is not what it’s about. It’s simply about you saying what you need to say to feel better. We don’t rely on the other person acting a certain way for us to be happy. That’s outer peace, and it doesn’t work for long. We’re on the path to inner peace here at A Clean Mind. So know that you have the option to put out there what you need to put out there to feel better. Life is much lighter when you’ve done this. You can even do this with people who have already died. Just write down what you need to say or even just say it to them. If you write it down, you can burn it or throw it away. This means you’ve done what you needed to do and can move on.

I did an internship for a couple of semesters in grad school doing grief counseling at a hospice, and I read a wonderful book called Final Gifts to learn more about what I was getting into. It was written by a couple of longtime hospice nurses who had seen so much wild stuff while working with the dying and their families that they finally had to share it with others by writing the book. One thing that stood out to me was how some dying folks would seem to be hanging on and not letting go. They’d be defying the predictions of the doctors and nurses, always living one more day. They were by no means getting better; they were at death’s door but were just barely hanging on. They seemed to be waiting for something; there was unfinished business. Sometimes the nurses would ask other family members if there was anything the person might be waiting on. Inevitably, the family member would mention that estranged son or daughter or something like that. They would arrange for that person to come in, and the person would finally die shorty thereafter. Things were incomplete before that visit, and now they were complete.

I say go ahead and have those conversations now. The other person might not even want to listen, but all you can do is try. And if they aren’t receptive, it might just be the front they’re putting up. They might be scared or wounded. Just put it out there and be at peace with it. In most cases, you’ll feel better and you might even feel unstuck afterward. I mean, what if you were going to die soon?

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All anybody really wants is peace. The good news is that peace can be learned. I’m serious. This should be taught in middle school, but it’s not. So I’m teaching it now.

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