A Clean Mind

Blogging about a less stressful way to live…

Holding Grudges

When you hold a grudge, you hurt yourself. The other person is probably fine! It’s been said that it’s not the snakebite itself that hurts you, but rather the venom that travels through your body and wreaks havoc, maybe even killing you. Whoa.

If you’re tired of living like this, then it’s time to own it and move on. What we’re really talking about is forgiveness. Most of the world forgives like this: “I know you hurt me, but I’m going to be the bigger person and forgive. But I really remember what you did and I’m still pretty pissed about it.” Sound familiar? If somebody let you down, then it’s time to totally, 100% accept that they let you down. Nobody is perfect. Some people seem to be downright evil, in fact. If you need to stop hanging around these people, even if they’re your own family members, then that’s what you have to do. But in your mind you want to release them.

One of my teachers along the way, Master Choa Kok Sui (I know, cool name), talked about the outer world and the inner world. I love this – great way to think about it. As far as outer world goes, you might have to get a restraining order on someone. You might have to physically defend yourself. You definitely want to practice thorough forgiveness on the inner, though. This is done at the level of the mind. Master Choa talked about reminding yourself that that person is really a spiritual being at the end of the day who was confused and thought s/he was really a person. Of course that person did that to you! It’s identity confusion. So handle it however you need to in the outer/physical world, but practice forgiveness as best you can in your mind.

Sit down for a minute and try this. It can be hard, especially at first, so remember to be gentle with yourself. Just experiment with this and do your best. And remember that you’re not even doing it for the other person – you’re doing it for yourself. Walk lighter and be more at peace.


All anybody really wants is peace. The good news is that peace can be learned. I’m serious. This should be taught in middle school, but it’s not. So I’m teaching it now.

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