A Clean Mind

Blogging about a less stressful way to live…

Why You Can Always Love Yourself Unconditionally

We’ve been big into self-love lately here at A Clean Mind. Last week, we wrote about moving from thinking about loving ourselves to actually feeling it; anytime, anyplace. Now let’s get to the reason why. Because we can be SO hard on ourselves. I know I sure can. I can honestly say that I’ve achieved mastery of that… And as best I can be, I’m done.

I’ve mentioned that awesome Matt Kahn video so many times, the one about being nice to ourselves. When I wrote about it last October, we talked about finding specific reasons to love ourselves, no matter how big or small, and focusing on those rather than on what we don’t like about ourselves. Maybe I was nice to the person at the gas station or to a co-worker. That’s REALLY awesome when you think about it, so stop and feel some love for yourself. Give yourself some credit for making the world a better place, even if it seems small. It really shifts how you feel. In Matt’s words, it raises your vibration. And if that sounds too woo-woo or new-agey for you, don’t even worry about it. They’re just words, pointing at some meaning. Just feel out the meaning as best you can and focus on that. And the meaning here is simply that this is a really awesome and powerful practice, for you and for your peace. Nice, I’ll take two then.

Today we’re going changes gears and go all out with a blanket reason to love yourself all the time. All. The. Time. Are you ready? Here we go… Life can be a bitch and you’re doing your freaking best! You’re trying! Good lord, it’s not easy! Can I cut myself some slack?? Wow, I’ve been way too hard on myself. And it might finally be time to try out a different way. Now pause, take a breath, and just let that sink in. Breathe with it for a minute or so, without analysis. Just breathe with it and see how your body feels. Relax into it. Give it a few seconds, and we will check in afterwards……….

……………..[Breathing with it]………………

So how does that feel? Did your body open some, even if there was resistance at first? If so, that would be pretty normal. That’s why we don’t let the mind jump right in and analyze it. Staying with the breath for a little while actually accesses a greater intelligence that’s built-in. It’s not trying to compete with the thinking mind, though, so it can take a few seconds. But when it kicks in, the body begins to open. And we see there’s some truth there that we might’ve missed had we done our habitual over-thinking.

So we now have a reason to love ourselves all the time. Not bad for a Thursday afternoon! And if we look closely at what this means, we see that less love is never the answer. If things are going well, then I deserve more love and not less. And if things are not going well, then I still deserve more love and not less. This is because more love will help me become the person I want to become. Not less. I’ve tried that, and it has not worked. Maybe it looks like it has worked some, but doesn’t it feel like there’s a ceiling there? If so, then play with this new idea for yourself and experiment. See what works for you, and just be curious. And note that we are not condoning any “bad behaviors” or anything like that. We are honest when we don’t like how we’ve acted. Let’s own everything, but let’s also look at our perceived shortcomings in a field of love rather than a field of judgment. Breathe with that for a few seconds… Because we just might grow faster this way. And that’s exactly what we want.

So play with this idea. Play with it for two weeks, perhaps. Why not – isn’t your life worth it? For two weeks?? I’d say so! This really is a game changer. And all we’re doing is trying out something new. You might also want to read Matt Kahn’s book that just came out, Whatever Arises, Love That. It has really helping me to shift and deepen my understanding of what love is and especially what self-love is. Wow… So check it out. And if you don’t, all good. You’ll be hearing more about it here. In fact, I already know what the next two installments will be on this topic. And they’re pretty cool. And so are you 🙂


All anybody really wants is peace. The good news is that peace can be learned. I’m serious. This should be taught in middle school, but it’s not. So I’m teaching it now.

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