A Clean Mind

Blogging about a less stressful way to live…

Tool: “I Forgive You. I Release You. I Send You Love.”

This is a very powerful tool that can be downright mind-blowing. I’ve seen some very synchronistic things happen after doing this, which I’ll mention below. I got this from the wonderful book Spirit Junkie by Gabby Bernstein, which I’ve mentioned a couple of times before.

All you do when you’re having a conflict with someone is picture him/her in your mind and say, as sincerely as possible, “I forgive you. I release you. I send you love.” You can do this silently or not – that’s your call. The point is your intention. That’s why this can work even if you hate that person so much in that moment. You’re putting it out there that your sincere intention is peace with the situation, whatever that looks like. You want real peace.

Do this practice for as long as you wish, and do it as often as you wish. Of course release any tension you feel in your body when you think of that person, if there is any. Note: if you do feel tension when you think of that person, then it’s especially important that you release it – let that nasty stuff move on out of your system. Your other option is to keep holding it. That’s not cool.

Here’s another thing – do this practice without any expectations. This can be pretty funny, actually. When you catch yourself doing this only to get that person to change in some way or to get what you want, gently release that with a laugh. Good try! I bust myself on this all the time, by the way – the ego is pretty sly. Don’t take it too seriously, though. Just let it go in that moment and move on.

Here’s yet another thing – do this on yourself when necessary! We all make mistakes, and we all screw up. We can even be pretty evil sometimes. Own it, learn from it, and move on. To speed up the process, though, do this practice. Do it just as you would another person – no difference. Picture your face, release any tension, and say/think the words, “I forgive you. I release you. I send you love.” If there’s a strong emotional reaction, that’s fine. Just let the emotion be free, but without any story. After the bulk of the emotion has passed, then you can process if need be. It might just be that this was long, long overdo. I mean, you’ve probably been doing your best the whole time and have been too harsh in your internal criticism. This is a pattern that can be busted just like any other. In the meantime, forgive yourself!

This is an example of how we do inner work before doing outer work. Why? Because it’s more effective that way. So do this practice and get things working behind the scenes. You can even do it right now. (Pause). Yes, right now – go ahead and try it with someone. After you’ve done this, then if you feel guided to contact that person or even get a restraining order against that person, do it. You still act as needed, but you do this internal process first. And during. And after. You can do it anywhere, anytime. And always release your expectations, as I mentioned above. Release everything! Keep going deeper. As we do this more and more in life, the peace and joy that are our natural inheritance can shine through more. They’re always there, but they’ve been buried.

Remember that this is something to do in order to see for yourself if you like it or not. Don’t just read about it (unless you want to, in which case of course that’s fine). And note that even if you don’t see any results in the outer world, if doing this makes you at least feel better then that’s huge. You might see some wild things happen, though. I was moved to write about this now because of a call I got recently from a client who has been having a terrible issue with her sister, who has been her best friend. Her sister recently pulled a Jekyll-Hyde and turned into a totally different person, a very mean person who has said some hurtful things that will be hard to forget. This has been incredibly painful for my client, and releasing has been very hard to do. I suggested this practice, and my client did it. She pictured her sister and said/thought, “I forgive you. I release you. I send you love.” She was sincere as possible. It wasn’t easy to do since she’s pretty angry with her sister right now, but she did it anyway. She did her best and made sure her intentions were pure. Within an hour, she received a text out of the blue from her sister saying, “Hey – I love you.” They hadn’t spoken in almost two weeks, too. So my client called to tell me what had happened. Whoa! It doesn’t always work that fast, but when it does it’s a lot of fun. It’s basically a synchronicity that tells us that we’re on the right path and to keep it up. My client is not letting her foot off the gas, either. More forgiveness. More releasing. More love. There can’t be too much of any of that.

There are plenty of other examples, like another client who did this practice with his ex-wife. They don’t exactly have a kind, loving, respectful relationship. Since they have a son together who is in middle school, they can’t just totally part ways and not speak to each other. He was at his wit’s end with her, and I told him about this technique. The next time I saw him, he said, “Hey, you remember that thing you taught me using my mind with my ex-wife? It works! She’s been a totally different person.” I was laughing. I love it.

So go ahead and give this one a shot. I’m sure you can think of a couple of people in your life that would make suitable candidates… Release any expectations and just let it fly. Do it as often as you feel guided to. Just do what feels natural. And if this is a person you can barely even stand to look at or think about, then it’s extra important that you do this. Release all that resistance and tension as well. There’s nothing wrong with it, but do you want to carry it around 24/7 or not? I choose the latter. So happy practicing, and I’d really love to hear from any of you who have results you’d like to share. Especially the dramatic ones like with the immediate text message above. And now I release this blog post…


All anybody really wants is peace. The good news is that peace can be learned. I’m serious. This should be taught in middle school, but it’s not. So I’m teaching it now.

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