A Clean Mind

Blogging about a less stressful way to live…

Addicted To… Drama?

I have a client who is kicking ass. Major ass. Basically, she came in wanting to ditch the bulk of the drama in her life, or at least the drama that she’s responsible for. She has a major situation going on, and she wants to handle it the right way. She knows that unless she makes some changes, it won’t be handled as well as it could be handled. Great call to come in and get some assistance. Great call.

So she’s been coming in weekly for not too long, and she’s doing really, really well. She’s doing so well, in fact, that at the end of the last couple of sessions, I asked her if she wanted to stretch it out some or if she wanted to keep coming in weekly. She has always said something like, “No way – I’m coming in weekly until this situation is totally resolved. After that, we can re-evaluate.” And I think that’s a great way to handle it. It’s a great idea to play it safe and come in more often while there’s a stressful situation going on. And it’s not like I don’t like working with someone who really “gets it” and has seen dramatic results by implementing the simple things we talk about into her daily life. I always say that the truth is simple, but it’s not always easy to do in the moment. It takes practice. This is because we’ve been practicing another way for so long, a way that’s less peaceful. If you’re reading something like this, though, then those days are numbered. They have to be…

Anyway, when I asked her recently if she’d still like to reschedule in a week, I loved her response. She said, “Yes – stop asking! I don’t want to have a relapse!” A relapse? A relapse of what? A relapse of drama! A relapse of her old self, the dramatic self who is reactive rather than responsive. A relapse of the character that came to see me not too long ago who was sick of how she was living and wanted to learn a better way. Because there totally is a better way.

Most of us hear the word “relapse” and immediately think of a person falling off the wagon and having a drink, a cigarette, a pill, carbs, or something like that. I love the use of addiction language in this more general sense, though. When you think about it, we’re totally addicted to our old patterns and habits. We think that those things define us, but they do not. Anything that’s temporary does not define you. That’s because who you really, really are, at the end of the day, is not temporary. Note that “temporary” includes the body that you see in the mirror, so we’re wading into deeper waters here. That’s okay. Let’s just stay focused on the brilliant use of the word “relapse.” She basically said, “I’ve learned a better way, and I’ve seen crystal clear, obvious, powerful results. It hasn’t been that long, though, so this new way is not second nature yet. Yet. I don’t want to slip back into the old way, so I’m being really careful and vigilant to not do that.”

I love it. Kudos to her efforts and to the early results she’s experienced. And kudos to her bringing this awesome new language to my attention. Old language with a new use, that is. I actually heard the spiritual teacher Gangaji talk about the real addiction among humans – the addiction to “me.” Very powerful stuff. I’ll have to write about that more in the future. That’s where the waters get really deep, though, so I think we’re cool for now. In the meantime, feel free to use the term “relapse” in your own life, regardless of what pattern or patterns you want to break. Just keep a relaxed attitude like we always do. The added pressure we put on ourselves often gets in the way. The term “relapse” with something like drama sounds pretty funny to me, too, so it keep things light as we do this work. In fact, it makes it less “work-y.” So I wish you all the best with your various relapses, and as always, let me know if I can help!


All anybody really wants is peace. The good news is that peace can be learned. I’m serious. This should be taught in middle school, but it’s not. So I’m teaching it now.

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